Break Your Mind
by YaoiFanGirl1990
Summary: Finally escaping from a madman, Allen must face his new differences. Turning to the center of the Black Order for help and protection. How will this effect the relationships he has with his friends and boyfriend? Especially when he becomes even more of a target to the Millennium Earl. Yullen and othe pairings. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 0

Break My Mind

Hello Mina! It's been a while since I have written anything. I've been going through quite a few things and haven't really had the motivation to type anything really. I really feel bad for this, anywho I am getting help now and I going to get back into my favorite thing to do! Well this fic is a do over to my fanfic Your Shadow so please ignore that one it sucked! Let's hope this time around it is better. Each Chapter will have a theme, most theme's will be repeated.

Warnings: This fic is rated M for a reason so you have been warned.

Chapter Theme- Break My Mind (Five Night At Freddy's 4) – DaGames

POV- Allen Walker

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Chapter 0- Surrounded By The Fears

 _We are sending you to an abandoned mansion in the wasteland of Siberia, Allen. I ask you to becareful while on this mission, everyone we have sent so far has not returned. So please keep contact with us through Timcanpy. If you wish you can wait for Kanda's return tomorrow and he can accompany you._

Komui's words echoed through my mind once again of the emit danger I was going to be heading toward all alone. I should have waited for Kanda's return so he'd be able to come with me; but I had denied it and left on my own to this dark mansion. Now here I was lying on the stone cold floor a thin blanket the only thing keeping my naked body from wandering eyes. Not that it mattered or anything. I rolled to my back and starred up at the stars from the barred sun window above me. I could break out if I wanted to but the people who have been experimenting on my for the past 3 weeks did something to me and now I can't even summon Crown Clown. Even Nea had fallen silent as well. Now that I think about it I couldn't fall into the recess of my mind at all, everything was just dark and black.

It was the moment I heard footsteps coming towards my door did I start feeling my heart begin to race and ache. They had come for me again and I wandered what kind of experiments would they be preforming on me this time. I curled as much as I could into the blanket keeping my eyes as tightly shut as they would allow me. I called for Cross and Kanda in my mind hoping in some way they'd hear me, but I knew it was futile. I listened as the metal door swung open with a long drawn out creak. I didn't try to get away like I used to, because that would only promise more pain. I was grabbed by my upper arms buy two different men and dragged to my feet, the blanket falling to the floor in a heap exposing me completely to the sick doctor who now stood before me. He had once been a scientist for the order but he had escaped and no one knew where he went.

"I'm sorry to wake you Mr. Walker but it is time to see if you will be able to synchronize with this innocence." The man spoke slowly holding up a vile filled with a green liquid, the liquid was glowing and I knew it was another innocence which was broken down. I lost count after the 100th time they tried this and there was only one other time it had worked. That was when my original innocence stopped working.

"Please...let me go." My voice was no louder than a whisper and it cracked in places. The doctor only chuckled darkly before stepping forward and forcing my head back. I tried to clamp my mouth shut but I felt a sharp pain in my side which forced me to gasp out in pain and the contents were poured down my throat. The pain came immediately and I couldn't restrain the scream which tore past my chapped lips. Even with my screaming I was dragged to the other side of the room where the only bed sat. I began to struggle then as I was forced to lay on it my hands chained above my head and straps being fastened across my chest. The doctor sat on the edge of the bed before leaning forward towards my face.

"Stop struggling Allen, it is only going to hurt worst if you don't." His voice echoed into my ear his hand gently caressing my cheek. I couldn't help the tears which finally began to fall. I watched as he sat up and waved his two helpers away. They left the room but I knew they were only standing guard outside the door.

"Why...?" I managed to choke out watching him removed his lab coat. He only chuckled darkly again before starring straight into my eyes. His were full of dark intentions, intentions I knew that were about to come.

"You already know that answer Allen. Tonight we are going to try something new since we need your back end uncovered." With what was just told me only made me wander in horror on what kind of innocence was I given this time. But what came next made me glad I was flexible from how long I had worked in the circus. My legs were bent back and chained in the same spot where my hands were, even though it didn't hurt, it still wasn't comfortable. Due to the position I was just put into my line of sight was rendered useless this time, but I could hear that madman removing himself of his clothes and the fear of what was coming caused my heart to pound against my chest.

His hands ran down the back of my legs and I forced back the shivers my body wanted to produce and I bit my lip to keep any sounds from coming out. I pulled on the chains which were around my wrists in hopes that I could break from them but I was so weak it was impossible. In those moments I escaped to the blackness of my mind to make everything feel less, but it failed when his hand wrapped around my length squeezing hard. The vision of the ceiling came back in an instant and a gasp pushed out of my mouth, my back arching.

 _'Kanda!'_

"We can't have you disappearing into that mind of yours Allen, it's no fun when you do that." He laughed his hand beginning to pump me as he stuck the tip of his manhood at my entrance. I clasped my hands around the chains as tightly as I could. And then I was screaming. Not from the pain of him entering me, I was so used to that pain, but this...this was different. It was coming from where my tailbone was and on the tops of my head. The pain was unbearable, and even with my screaming the doctor never once stopped violating me.

I could only hope someone would come and find me soon.

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There you go the prologue. Hope you enjoyed it. Now onto getting chapter one started and posted. Don't forget to leave a Review!


	2. Chapter 1

Break Your Mind

noticed there was a title error in the previous chapter...Oopsie I will get it fixed as soon as I can LOL xD. It's what happens when you're babysitting and not fully paying attention. All themes can be searched in YouTube as I have them typed. This fic follows after the Destruction of the Black Order Ark but has it's own story and plot twists so it doesn't follow the original story after that arc. So be warned there are going to be some really strange things I throw out at you guys. Be prepared!

Kittenanimegirl13- thanks for the review, and I just felt that Your Shadow was going to fast and I lost ideas because my brain kept changing it so now...here I am rewriting it with how my brain wants it to be. LOL

Hanashi o suru- don't worry the doctor will get it coming to him eventually

Cats and Anime Things Alike- I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapeter

Chapter Theme- Cat & Mouse OST-Joker's Theme (Original Composition)

POV- Cross (He's very OC because this is Parental/Protective Cross)

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Chapter 1- A Broken Spirit

When I was sent to this little town outside of Siberia to find Allen I wasn't expecting to run into a dead end by the end of the week. He has been gone now for almost a month and a half. I have spoken to everyone in town asking about Allen, they either would avoid me or tell me he left to the forest two weeks prior. That was around the time we lost communication from him. Right now I was following the link I have with Timcanpy but it was very weak, but I could feel it somewhere around town. I was beginning to become very annoyed once again because the sun was going down on my 6th night. I would never admit this allowed but I was very worried about my apprentice and what could have happened. When Komui told me which mission Allen had been ordered to go on, I about flipped on him. Yes, Allen was very skilled and could handle his own, but not on a suicide mission by himself. I was beginning to loose hope because when I had first arrived I had easily found the abandoned mansion, well what was left of it anyways. At this moment we have finders and other exorcists excavating it. They have found so far a dozen innocence fragments.

"General!" I stopped in my spot and turned to see a female finder running up to me.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice laced with annoyance and I watched as she flinched. I didn't care, I wanted to find Allen as soon as possible.

"We have spotted Timcanpy flying over the cemetery, every time we get close to him he flies off. Or he will enlarge himself and chase us away. Tiedoll thinks he's keeping everyone away from Allen, he won't let anyone in or near the cemetery." The girl explained the moment she finished I was running down the street towards the cemetery. I wasn't shocked at what I was seeing when I arrived. Lavi and Chaoji were trying to distract Timcanpy while Kanda attempted to sneak around him. The three only ended up being thrown across the way Chaoji and Lavi being smacked into a tree.

"That is enough, back off you three." I commanded and stepped toward my golem. I wasn't surprised when he began to bare his teeth at me. For Tim to be acting this way meant something truly horrible happened to Allen and is unable to protect himself.

"Timcanpy doesn't seem to recognize anyone, even Lenalee tried getting past him. She almost managed to but Tim rammed her across the forest. The finders are attending to her now. With you being his previous owner I'm hoping he'll let you through before Kanda looses his last nerve and tries to destroy Timcanpy." Tiedoll explained stepping forth till he stood next to me.

"He's only doing what I have ordered him to do. Protect Allen by all means if my apprentice is rendered unable to protect himself. I should be able to get through get everyone to the camp and I will meet you there." I answered and finished the distance which was between Tim and I. Once I was close enough he finally shrunk back down in size falling into my cupped hands.

"You did well Tim, but now I need you to take me directly to Allen please." I whispered to him, Tim nodded and shakily flew back into the air and flew into the cemetery. I ignored the outburst which came from Lavi and followed after the golden golem. I wasn't surprised when snow began to fall, it reminded me of the night when I first found Allen. The snow and the cemetery and now walking up a hill seeing a huddled form against a tree hugging onto a beige knapsack for dear life. As I got closer to the huddled form I first realized they were clothless and then finally I noticed the stark white hair. The huddled figure was Allen.

"Tim please make sure no one else has followed, I don't think Allen wishes for anyone to see him like this." I gave my order and Timcanpy flew off back down the hill. I walked over until I could kneel right next to him. I watched as Allen tried to curl more up within himself, his eyes were as wide as they could go and his hands gripped more tightly onto the sack.

"Allen it's alright now, no one is going to hurt you. Please give me the sack." I pleaded reaching out and grabbed onto an empty spot on the sack. Allen proceeded to try and pull the sack away but I watched as his eyes finally moved to look at me and he released the sack, but he didn't relax any. I wasn't surprised at what I found in the sack, there was at least ten pieces of innocence inside. Closing my eyes I let a sigh leave my lips. Opening my eyes again I went to plead with Allen again when the appendages a top Allens head finally caught my attention along with the long appendage which swished back and forth at his backend. I starred more closely and finally realized he now had cat ears and a cat tail.

"Allen what happened to you?" I asked reaching out and pulling the shacking boy into my arms. Allen struggled a bit but I held onto him until he finally relaxed.

"I'm not going to hurt you Allen." I reassured him somehow managing to maneuver my jacket off of me and wrapped it around Allen, making sure the ears and tail were covered.

"I...go home...want to go home." Allen chocked out burying his face into my chest his body being racked by sobs.

"Cross?" Tiedolls voice caused Allen to still instantly.

"Tell everyone Allen has been found and that I took him straight back to the order. If they ask about his condition...I don't know, just tell them something but I need to get him back." I explained lifting Allen into my arms and handing the knapsack of innocence's over to the soft hearted general.

"What is this?" He asked before opening it, I watched his eyes widen.

"That makes 22 pieces of innocence that has been found." Tiedoll gasped.

"There...there were more." Allen chocked out not moving his head out of my chest.

"Where are the other pieces Allen?" I asked but Allen fell silent after that pulling the jacket more around him. Sobs began to come from him again and it worried me. Part of me didn't want to know what happened to the other pieces.

"Allen we need you to tell us what happened." Tiedoll pleaded with him.

"They all died, the other subjects. That madman he tried...he tried to force synchronize innocence into exorcists. They all died and after the innocence would reform and just fly off. I was their favorite though because Crown Clown kept me alive when it wouldn't synch." Allen explained through the sobs.

"Allen how many innocence failed in you and how many were you able to synch with?" I asked already aware that at least one other was able to synch with him. Another parasitic type. Allen fell silent for quite some time.

"I lost count after 50 but I know it was close to 75 times. Only three were able to synch with me." He finally answered his voice void of anything. Tiedoll tried asking him more questions but when we saw him unconscious we knew Allen forced himself into unconsciousness.

"What are you going to tell the others?" I asked Tiedoll flying back and growing in size so we could get back to the Order much quicker.

"That Allen was in need of immediate medical attention and you took him straight back to the order. You know Kanda is going to leave immediately once he hears that. Keeping Allens condition a secret and what happened may be easier though." Tiedoll spoke and I shook my head.

"No, everyone will know that something happened the moment they see him." I sighed before pulling to top of my jacket from Allens head.

"My God, Cross you know you're not going to be able to the leave the Order now." Tiedoll was right with what he said.

"I never planned to Tiedoll. Allen is going to need me now more than ever. He will be the first exorcist to ever synchronize with more than one innocence. He has not just two innocence Tiedoll but three! The higher ups may want to try synchronize more innocence into him. That is why I don't plan to leave, to protect him from that happening. Tiedoll I found him with no clothes on, I'm afraid to find out everything that was done to him." I explained looking down at my apprentice with a solemn look before jumping to on top of Timcanpy and ordering him to fly off.

With Timcanpy we cut a three day trip down to a 12hour trip, not once did Allen wake up. The first thing I did was go straight to my quarters and put Allen into a pair of cotton gray pants and an obvious overgrown black shirt. Timcanpy never left Allen once he was able to shrink back down in size. I had to sit in one of my chairs and down half a bottle of wine just to calm my nerves. After a while, most likely a few hours had passed but Timcanpy flew over and landed on the side table. I looked over to Allen to see him still sacked out.

"Show me Timcanpy, show me what happened to Allen." I ordered, I watched Tim hesitate for a moment before he opened his mouth and a projection came out. Every scene I was shown broke my heart little by little. Finally they ended with when Allen got his ears, even though he had been screaming in agony that doctor continued to rape him only laughing at my apprentice's pain. I knew there was more but it was obvious that Tim didn't want to show me. Standing from the chair I walked back over to the bed and sat my back against the head board before pulling Allen into my lap and held onto him.

"Shishou?" I heard him whimper and I could only hug onto him tighter.

"When I find that man, he will die. That filthy being will die for harming you! I promise Allen, this won't happen again!" I hissed, and for the first time in many years I felt tears fall from my face.

"Shishou, please don't cry for me." I heard Allen say and it only made everything so much worst.

"Stop it Allen. I'm crying because you're not! You've turned your emotions off again! Don't turn them off completely, you have so many people who care. What are you going to do when Kanda arrives?!" I couldn't help with all the questions I was throwing at him. I finally looked down at Allens face and watched his eyes widen before finally tears poured over the bottom lid of his eyes.

"I tried to fight back, but I couldn't. I couldn't fight back." I grabbed each of Allen's cheeks with my hands and leaned forward pressing my lips to his forehead. Allen cried for a long time and from how unsafe he felt Crown Clown finally came out the white cloak wrapping around him protectively. I heard a knock on the door and muttered an enter as I watched Allen curl into a ball in the middle of the bed. I looked up and saw Reever had walked in. It was obvious that he was nervous.

"I know Komui and Lvellie want our presence." I spoke.

"They want to see Allen more specifically." He replied and I nodded my head. I nudged Allen on the shoulder and watched as Crown Clown retracted.

"I know you don't want to leave this room Allen." I say and Allen sat up starring into his lap.

"I have to though. If I hide it's only going to make things worst." He spoke and I nodded my head. Leaving the comfort of the bed I managed to find an old exorcist jacket of mine with a hood on it and helped Allen put it on.

"Until you're ready this will help keep your ears hidden." I explained as I put my General jacket back on situating my hat atop my head. From the corner of my eye I could see Allen just starring at me and that's when I discovered a new feature. The pupils of his eyes were slanted like that of a cats, I just hope it wasn't as noticeable like his ears and tail.

"We're reader Reever, lead the way." I motioned and made sure as the three of us left the safety of my quarters that Allen was close to my side. It wasn't hard to keep him close since he naturally gravitated over to me with how uncomfortable he already was.

"Are we going to Komui's office or the Hevlaska's chamber?" I asked, but Reever didn't have to answer as we met up with Komui and Lvellie at the lift.

"This will make things easier General Cross, it'll be less stressful for Allen if we just do everything here." Komui explained motioning us onto the lift, I felt Allen grab onto my jacket as we walked onto the lift. It was obvious he was terrified.

"Allen, I promise on behalf of Central that no matter what we learn your position here at the Order will not change and you will not have to leave. Central does not wish to put you through anymore trauma." Lvellie stepped forth, I wasn't shocked when Allen took a step back.

"What about your watch dog Link? Will Allen still have to undergo being watched?" I asked afraid of what the answer would be.

"Komui stop the lift." Lvellie suddenly ordered and the lift was stopped. We were in the area where with whatever was about to be spoken only those on the lift will know about it.

"I already know Allen is the 14th, well the host of Nea Walker. I have not reported my findings to Central and the Vatican. Cross, I have came to a conclussion that Allen is of high importance, especially now with how many innocence's he now possesses." Lvellie spoke and I watched as Allen began to shack his head side to side in disbelief.

"How do you know Nea's name?" I ask pushing Allen to behind me keeping him out of reach of Lvellie.

"Allen has conversations with the Noah in his sleep. From what Link has come to understand is that Nea is protecting something, something which Allen has." Lvellie further began to explain.

"Nea never spoke of what he was exactly protecting but that when the time comes him and I will separate and he will be in his own body. Until then though him being inside of me keeps the Earl from knowing that he is alive still." Allen's voice was meek and quiet but it also held firmness.

"Allen do you know when Nea will separate from you?" Komui asked stepping forward, I turned to look to Allen and watched him sigh.

"I stopped being able to communicate with him at the beginning of the second week I was held hostage by that doctor. I suspect we have already separated, but I am not entirely sure. If we have he's already looking for me." Allen explained and after that we continued down to Hevlaska. Allen whimpered when the Great Generals came into view. Soon Hevlaska appeared and beckoned for Allen to step forward.

"You do not have to fret Allen, no harm is going to come to you. We hope maybe we can retrieve the innocence's which have been put inside of you." She spoke and I watch Allen let out the breath he was holding and stepped forward allowing Hevlaska to lift him up her tendrils pushing to inside of Allen. I watched as Allen began to convulse. I knew then that Hevlaska was trying to separate the innocence's from Allen. I wasn't shocked when he eventually passed out from it all. I watched as she pulled three innocence's from him.

"I was unable to pull 2 from him, both of which are not his original innocence." I froze at her words and rushed to Allen's side when Hevlaska laid him on the lift. I pushed the sleeve of the jacket up his arm to see it still black but the innocence shard was no longer embedded on the top of his hand. Allen's head lulled backwards and the hood fell from his head revealing he still had the cat ears.

"What is the other innocence Hevlaska?" I asked looking to her.

"I am unsure on what it is but it is the reason why the three I took from him were able to unsynchronize from his body. The innocence I sensed is unlike any other innocence I have ever felt before and Allen is already at Critical Point with it. When it spoke to me though it entailed the great importance of Allen Walker, he is not to leave the order until further notice." She finished before disappearing into the blackness. I look down at Allen and knew the moment he found this out he was going to freak.

"Do you think it is possible that Allen is..." Komui began to ask but Lvellie raise his hand to silence him.

"Let's continue this conversation in your office." He spoke and I could only nod my head in agreement as I stood back up carrying Allen in my arms.

As I had predicted when Allen woke and was told what happened he began to freak out, well in better description he full out panicked and would let no one touch him. So here was Lvellie, Link, Komui and I standing about the office trying to talk in hushed voices while Allen sat huddled in a corner muttering things and rocking back and forth. Only Timcanpy could get close to him.

"What were you going to ask earlier Komui?" I finally asked keeping my full attention on Allen, no longer caring if he heard us.

"I was going to ask if it was possible that Allen now has the heart?" Komui asked, Lvellie and I both shook our heads.

"I doubt that he's the heart, Hevlaska would have known if he was." Lvellie explained walking over to the couch and sitting upon it.

"But there is a possibility. Allen is at Critical Point with this new innocence." Link brought up and at that Allen's voice goes quiet.

"What do you mean I'm at Critical Point with this innocence?" He asks standing to his feet and facing us.

"That's what Hevlaska has told us. Allen Timcanpy showed me everything that happened to you in that mansion up to the point you received your ears and tail. I must ask though how did you escape?" I asked and Allen looked down. It was obvious he was trying to remember.

"I don't remember after the screaming I blacked out and I didn't wake up until I was in that cemetery holding onto that knapsack of innocence and Tim chasing away anything that got close. I don't know how long had passes since then. I don't remember anything." He explains leaning his back against the bookshelf.

"That means you were out there for at least a few weeks. You have been missing for about a month and a half." I told Allen walking over to him, I watched as the realization ran through his face.

"No...no,no,no,no,no..." He began to repeatedly say falling to his knees, all I could was stand here and watch him break little by little.

"Cross why don't you take him back to your quarters, at least until Kanda returns and can take over watch of him." Komui said.

"Of course." I answered then turned back to Allen who was beginning to rock back and forth again.

"Come on Allen let's get you back, you can rest some more." I say lifting the hood of the jacket back onto his head before helping him back to his feet. Link had helped me escort Allen back to my quarters before leaving promising Allen he'd be back shortly with some of Jerry's cooking. Allen never answered him and went straight back to bed and just laid there. I knew Allen very well and I knew he wouldn't talk about what was on his mind unless you waited for him to. So I went to my chair and poured myself a glass of wine. Link never came back, but that was probably a good thing.

"Shishou?" Allen finally asked.

"What is it?" I asked looking over to him.

"Why are people evil like that?" He asked and I could only sigh setting my wine onto the table.

"Not everyone in the world is like that Allen, that man...he was insane. The Order has been searching for him since he disappeared." I answered leaning my head back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Is that why the Millennium Earl wishes to destroy the world. Because of people like that?" He asked again this time it wasn't me who answered.

"The Millennium Earl believes in a false world, a false happiness. There will always be evil in the world remember that nephew." I wasn't surprised to see Nea standing there leaning against my door.

"Nea?" Allen slowly sat up and stare at the white skinned Noah in disbelief.

"Now care to escort me to Komui and the Lvellie guy?" He asked and I sighed before standing to my feet.

"Allen stay here and get some sleep we'll be back." I knew I should have probably stayed with him but I knew Timcanpy would watch over him and protect him.

"The innocence in his arm, it was really yours wasn't it?" I asked as the two of us walked down the hall of the order.

"No it is Allen's and we're going to help him get it back, until then he shouldn't be allowed to leave theses walls. That doctor he is an associate of Adams and if he's not dead then we can expect one of the Noah's being sent here to kidnap Allen." Nea spoke his eyes narrowing.

"Other than the Neko Innocence what is the other innocence inside of my apprentice?" I asked and I watch Nea look blankly ahead of him.

"I'm not allowed to say, not until Allen can access it himself and use it." He told me and I left it at that.

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There you go! Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, please don't forget to leave a review!


	3. Chapter 2

Break Your Mind

Decided to take a break from posting yesterday because of being ill, but I am back now and ready to start typing again. And I apologize for this chapter's shortness.

Natsuki D- Kanda will be showing up shortly as will the others.

Chapter Theme- My Most Precious Treasure by AmaLee

POV- Allen

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Chapter 2- Happiness Surround Me

I found myself a day later sitting in the cafeteria with only half of what I would normally eat, for some reason my appetite diminished since the new innocence's even though both of them are parasitic. I was wearing my old exorcist jacket because it had a hood to it and I didn't want anyone seeing the changes. At least not until I could show Kanda them. I was afraid of what his reaction was going to be honestly, but I knew he needed to be shown. I was surprised to find out though that everyone in the order was accepting Nea, well kind of hard not to when they find out he considers himself to be my uncle; all because he is Mana's younger twin brother. As I finish my food I hear a commotion from the hallway and knew exactly was going to happen. I felt the smile tug at my lips as I stood from the table and face the door right as Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda ran in. Kanda's eyes zeroed in on me first and he was jumping over a table and pushing past people till I was engulfed into his arms. I couldn't help but hug him back and take in his scent relaxing in moments. It felt right to be back in his arms.

"I'm so glad you were found." He whispered one arm snaked around my waist and his other hand resting on the back of my head. His face was buried in the space where my shoulder and neck met. I could feel his tears drop onto my skin, but I didn't say anything and only closed my eyes buried my own face into his shoulder.

"I was beginning to think I'd never see you again Kanda. I tried to fight and escape but I was reminded each time how pathetically useless I am. And since I've come back I am reminded even more." I hear my voice cracking as I battled back sobs. I felt Kanda lift his head before his lips were pressed up against the side of my head.

"Allen?" Lenalee ask but I shook my head trying to grab onto some sort of bearing but I couldn't. I could only cry more.

"He has two new innocence's and lost his original one. Even though he is at Critical Point with one of the new ones he still cannot access their abilities. He is still listed as an Exorcist but until further notice he is not allowed to leave the Order's walls unless with an escort." I heard Nea's voice and I felt Kanda stiffen.

"Who the fuck are you?" He growled out and I lifted my head and turned in Kanda's arms to see Nea standing there with crossed arms and gray skinned.

"My name is Nea Walker, the 14th Noah and also Allen's adoptive unlce since his father Mana was my older twin brother. Don't worry little samurai I am an ally to the Order and I also wish to see the entire Noah family eradicated. Especially now that Allen is on their target list to be captured." He explained and I felt my entire body run rigid and cold. This was news to me.

"When was this figured out?" I asked my voice stuttering, I felt Kanda's arm around my waist tighten and attempt to pull me closer.

"Just a little while ago, Cross and I have our own associate stationed within the Noah's home. The doctor who held you hostage Allen is still alive so the Earl now knows of your condition and exactly what is inside of you. They have began making preparations to kidnap you. We have also found out that there is a spy within our ranks working for the Noah's. It is now only a matter of days before they come for you Allen." Nea finished explaining his face full of worry. I felt my head beginning to spin as I let it drop into my hand my breathing becoming heavy and erratic.

"Kanda, please...take me any but here." I muttered and before I knew it I was lifted into his arms and he was carrying me out. He ignored anyone who tried to stop him and ask him something.

"You can cry if you need to. I'm here now Moyashi." He said kissing the top of my head again but I fought the tears back until we were safely in the confines of his room and the door was shut. Kanda sat me on top of his bed before kneeling in front of me on the floor watching me with a blank look. But I knew better, his eyes were filled with such worry.

"I can't do this Kanda, not alone." I choked out covering my face with my hands.

"You won't be doing this alone Allen. I'm here now." He said calmly standing to his feet and pulled my hands away from my face before reaching for the zipping of my jacket. In an instant my hands shot up and grabbed onto his wrists stopping him. I felt my eyes widen in fear. I wanted to hide a little longer, but I now knew it was too late for that.

"Allen I already know one of your innocence's changed you. We ran into Komui before we got to the cafeteria. Now let me see." He said still as calm as before. I released his wrists allowing him to slip his fingers between mine grabbing onto my hand before helping me to my feet. I dropped my hands to my sides when he unzipped the jacket and pushed it from my shoulders, my ears and tail now in the open. I starred at the wall behind him feeling fresh tears fall from my eyes, waiting for the rejection and hate to come. But it never came as his fingers linked under my chin and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead before leaning down and pressing them to my lips which was just as short.

"I am never going to reject you Allen, you can trust me." He whispered both his hand resting against my cheeks his thumbs brushing the tears away.

"K-Kanda." I choked out wrapping my arms around his and crying into his shoulder my body shacking from the sobs. Kanda held me close and rocked me side to side.

"I know you're not mentally ready to face the world but I don't want you to hide. There is nothing wrong with you and if anyone tries to hurt you I will kill them, because from today on I am your personal protector." He explained pushing me slightly back. I felt a smile finally reach my lips and I nodded my head.

"Let's go see Lenalee and Lavi they must be worried." I whisper looking down, Kanda grabbed my hand and led me to the door leading me out it. The hallways were empty so I knew most of everyone were in the cafeteria still. The closer we got the harder my heart beat against my heart and I tightened my grip around Kanda's hand. When we reached the doors of the cafeteria I froze right before the open door and pulled my hand from Kanda's bringing it to my chest starring at the floor.

"Allen, it's going to be alright." I heard Kanda who ignored the shouts of his name, it was most likely Lavi. Closing my eyes I took in a deep breath and held it for a moment remembering Mana's words to keep on walking. I finally released the breath I was holding and opened my eyes to stare into Kanda's and held my hand back out to him. Once he had my hand held in his I allowed him to pull me into the cafeteria. Just as I had expected, the entire room fell completely silent and all eyes were on me. I found Cross and Nea's eyes first and saw how worried they were but I needed to be strong even if everyone turned on me.

"KAWAII!" Though with Lavi around I knew I wouldn't have to worry about that. In a moments instant the crazy red head had me wrapped in his arms as he shouted kawaii over and over and over. Even with the multiple threats he was receiving from Kanda the red head continued to abuse me with hugs.

"Baka Usagi!" Kanda yelled and in that moment Lavi was running out of the cafeteria with Kanda hot on his tail. I could only help unable to help the laugh that pushed past my lips. I wasn't surprised that my friends could help me overcome my sadness though I knew it would return when they weren't around but for this moment I was happy. Happy to know I had friends.

"Welcome home Allen." I turned to see Lenalee standing there with a smile.

"It's good to be home." I answered with my own smile.

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Yes, it is short I never intended for this one to be very long. More excitement will come in the next chapters. Don't forget to leave a review!


	4. Chapter 3

Break Your Mind

Well it's been quite a few months since I last posted anything for any of my fics. I'm going to spend the next few days updating fics.

Jy24: The wait is finally over!

Ryuakilover: Yea for once I am making him a good guy because I think he gets too much bad rap.

OtakuShipping: Thank you for the correction, I actually notice I do this in all of my fics. I will start trying to correct this

Kittenanimegirl13: I am so happy you enjoy the fic ^_^

Natsuki D : Yes Allen is very much Kawaii!

Chapter Theme- Sing Me To Sleep (Pitched Lower) by Alan Walker, Poker Face by Blowsight, Break My Mind by DaGames, Take Me To Church by Hoizer,

POV- No POV

Warnings: Molestation, rape, self harm,

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Chapter 3: The Hateful Truth

Allen laid in bed next to a sleeping Kanda starring up at the ceiling which looked very detailed for it being dark out. Kanda had returned a few days before and even still he had not strayed from him. Sitting up Allen looked to the samurai to see him sleeping with a peaceful look upon his face. The young exorcist couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. Allen leaned over and pressed his lips to the others forehead, he suddenly felt very emotional and scared. He was always getting like this, he was always afraid that everyone was going to leave him. He was afraid he was never going to be himself again. Allen someone wrap their arms around him and pull him into their embrace. Every night Kanda would hold him and let him cry until he finally fell asleep.

"We're going to get through this Moyashi, I promise." The samurai spoke in a hushed voice before rolling slightly until he was straddling Allens waste his elbows by the the young exorcists head.

"I tried to synchronize with Crown Clown, but I couldn't! My innocence doesn't want me anymore!" Allen wailed covering his face with his hands. Kanda sighed sadly before sitting up and removing Allens hands from his face gently pinning them slightly above his head.

"We will figure this out, I promise you." He said sternly to the one he loved before leaning forward and kissing each of Allens cheeks before lightly pressing his lips to the others. Allen immediately responded to the other. Kanda licked Allens bottom lip before sucking on it gaining entrance to the hot cavern of Allens mouth running his tongue along the others. Kandas hands release Allens wrists before traveling down his sides and slipping under the others night shirt pushing it up. Allen couldn't help the moan that escaped when Kanda broke the kiss and began to kiss down his neck. Allen made the mistake of opening his eyes he immediately saw the room he had been trapped in all those weeks. In an instant Allens hands shot out and grabbed onto Kanda's arms, stopping all movement. He broke into hysterics again. He began to repeatedly scream out stop. Kanda rolled over wrapping his arms and legs around Allen to try and make him feel protected.

"Shh Moyashi, it's okay." Kanda just knew why Allen was like this, he had seen a few times when one of the female exorcists had a bad encounter on a mission. He never in his life would have imagined Allen to go through it himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He wailed clutching tightly to the front of the samurai's shirt. Kanda only continued to shush him his hand on the back of the others head kissing the top of it.

"Never be sorry for that. Never be sorry for something that wasn't your fault." He said just laying there waiting for the other to calm down. It took a long while but Allen did stop crying and he just felt so numb afterwards.

"Kanda, why can't I forget those weeks I was there? Why can't I go back to before I left?" He asked forcing himself out of Kandas arms and sitting up. He felt another wave of tears coming forth. Kanda sat up and wrapped his arms around the others shoulder pulling him into his lap burying his face into Allens neck. They sat there like that for a good few hour until Allens stomach began to rumble. Kanda chuckled lifting his head and kissing the others cheek.

"Head to the cafeteria love, I will meet you there I have to get something." He said, Allen nodded his head with a small smile before getting up and leaving Kandas room. He spent less time in his own that Komui was considering moving the two in a slightly bigger room so they could both live in the same one.

Allen walked down through the halls, but he wasn't going in the direction of the cafeteria. When he had first enter the cafeteria he had caught the sound of something he hadn't heard before. He knew it was probably nothing but he couldn't help but investigate it since it was still in his nature as an exorcist. He came to Hevlaska's chamber from the bottom floor entrance. He wasn't about to take the lift. If there was an intruder he'd want to sneak up on them. He slipped into the chamber and looked around the dark room but couldn't see much of anything except the area where Hevlaska usually was. Allen made his way into the room his arms wrapped around himself as he felt a chill that something wasn't right. And his fears came true when an arm snaked around his chest a hand lightly wrapping around his neck. His arms fell to his sides as he froze.

"Hello Allen Walker and here I thought it was going to be harder to locate since we were told your Protector Kanda hardly leaves your side." The man said his mouth right by Allens ear, a tongue darting to inside the crevices of his ear sending a shiver up his spine.

"Wh-what do you w-want?" Allen asked unable to move from the fear. He was still unable to invoke his other innocence's and he was obviously in danger with no way of fighting back.

"The Earl has ordered for your immediate capture, but I was expecting there to be much more fun. So I'm going to take my time with you before we go back and you're put back under the care of the doctor." The man laugh his other hand slipping down the front of my black cotton pants stroking me from outside my boxers.

"Please...stop." Allen begged tears falling from his eyes, the man only sighs the hand around his neck is removed, as he was going to beg again a thick cloth is shoved into his mouth and the hand is now cover his mouth.

"I don't need you screaming and alerting everyone, I already have your innocence lady under my control, she can't help you. You're at my mercy." The man said before beginning to kiss down his neck as his free hand found its way into the boys boxers and he took hold of it beginning to slowly pump it. His mouth biting and sucking at Allens neck leaving tiny bite marks and bruises. The tears fell more freely now soaking the white haired boys face. Tiny sobs were muffled from the gag. He soon felt his pants and boxers fall to around his ankles and the hand around his throbbing erection removed itself but he knew something much worst was going to happen when he was practically dragged across the room bent over and pressed against the wall. His shirt was torn from his body leaving him now completely exposed. He heard it being ripped even more before a strand was tied around his mouth to hold the makeshift gag in. His arms were pulled back to behind him being tied as well his face fully pressed into the wall painfully. Allen heard another set of footsetps approach and managed to turn his head to see the combined form of Jasdevi.

"How come you get to have all the fun Sheril?" He laughed walking over grabbing a handful of Allens hair causing the boy to whimper.

"Well you can join me. The doctor did tell us if we made him afraid of us he'd be easier to manipulate. You can help me by keeping him quiet." The man now revealed to be named Sheril spoke allowing Jasdevi to force Allen to stand up straight.

"Leave it to us." Jasdevi laughed pulling the gag from Allens mouth and forcing their tongue into his mouth before he could even react one hand wrapped around his neck and the other traveling south grabbing his erection tightly slowly pumping it their thumb covering the slit. Allens eyes widened when he felt his ass cheeks spread apart and a finger pushing into his entrance. He was unable to scream from the pain.

"Here use this then bend him over. After we're done we'll have Toraido carry him back." Sheril said handing a thick ribbon to Jasdevi who knew exactly what to do. Pulling his tongue from Allens mouth he took the ribbon from Sheril and bent to his knees wrapping his mouth around the boys cock beginning to suck on it. The more hard it got the more he wrapped the ribbon around it until he was on the edge of climax and the head of his cock was covered stopping any release that may happen. Allen was bent over his face pushed into Jasdevis crotch the two Noahs laughing.

"Use your mouth to undo my trousers and free my cock boy, after you will suck on it." The combined Noah ordered. Sheril held Allen by his tied arms. With a whimper the young exorcist used his teeth to untie the sash that was tied around the Noahs waist causing the trousers to fall to the floor once it was done. Allens eyes widened to see Jasdevi wearing no boxers or under of any kind, a large cock now in his face.

"Suck it boy!" Sheril ordered shoving a second finger harshly into his tight hole dry again. He let out a yelp but did as he was ordered wrapping his mouth around the others cock and began to suck on it. Sheril smirked and removed his fingers from Allen, now that the boys mouth was preoccupied he dropped his trousers before positioning his own hardened erection at the boys entrance pushing it right in to the hilt, no preparation no lube. Allens eyes widened and if he didn't have a cock down his throat he'd scream out. Sheril began to move in and out of him instantly grabbing a fist full of hair as he pounded into the boy. Sheril could tell Jasdevi was close to coming and smirked handing the makeshift gag to the other.

"Shove this in his mouth. Lets really make him scream." He smirked, Jasdevi pulled from Allen before forcing the gag into the boys mouth, he was soon held in the air Sherils hands holding him by his knees. He had no idea what was coming as Sheril laid on his back and then another hard cock was shoved into his tight hole, both thrusting into him roughly tearing him open. He was crying so much and he wandered why no one had found him yet. And he remembered that no one knew where he had headed to. Allen watched as the madman doctor walked out of an Ark door way and walked right to them kneeling to his knees. Allen knew what was to come when the gag was removed and and his mouth was full of cock again the doctor thrusting deep down into his throat. Jasdevi spit into his hand and began to pump Allens erection making it very painful for the boy since the ribbon refused to allow him release. Jasdevi was the first one to release, pulling out and coming onto Allens chest and face. Sheril released his cum into Allens hole filling him completely. The doctor was last to release into him filling his mouth.

Allen was shoved onto the floor his mouth and ass leaking of cum. The two Noahs and doctor made themselves decent again. They were barely able to finish when shots were fired, he recognized the blue design which appeared. The shots came from Judgment. His vision was blurry and he couldn't help it when the sobs came forth.

"Let him go you three!" He heard Nea shout, the three only laughed stepping to block him.

"He's our prize traitor we just decided to have a little fun with him." Jasdevi spoke stepping over Allen then knelt down lifting him up by his hair. Allen could see the murderous look on both his Shishou and Uncle.

"Kichu Ichigen!" Allen heard the attack from Mugen causing Jasdevi to drop Allen the Samurai appearing by him and lifting him up before jumping away near Hevlaska.

"It's no use Samurai that boy is as good as ours!" Sheril hissed facing the two, the doctor escaped through the ark door while Jasdevi faced off against Nea and Cross.

"I'm...sorry." Allen choked out tears spilling from his eyes.

"Don't apologize Allen, I'm here now and you're safe." Kanda lifting Allen up enough to kiss his forehead. The laughter which came from Sheril made everyone except Jasdevi quite unnerved.

"You really have no clue what that boy is do you?! This is priceless, harboring the ultimate weapon and none of you know it!" Sheril shouted pointing to Allen who was unable to react at all to what was being said. Hevlaska appeared finally and held out her tendrils. Kanda could only glare at the Noah handing his Moyashi over to Hevlaska before turning to prepare for a fight.

"Allen is not a weapon! He's an exorcist, an accomodator! My loved one!" Kanda shouted gripping onto Mugen tightly.

"Really now? Then you have no idea what he harvests inside of him do you? Nea does, not even that pathetic boy knows! If he did maybe he wouldn't be so pathetic and useless!" Sheril hissed, Kanda nearly attacked if it weren't for Nea suddenly by him stopping him.

"Don't he's only egging you on. Leave Jasdevi to Cross and Sheril to me. He's right if Allen knew he'd may be able to fight, but that is if he had been showing signs of activating it, but he hasn't. He needs you right now Kanda, more than ever." Nea said placing his hand onto the samurai's shoulders. Nodding his head in understandment Kanda jumped into the air to the tendril Allen was being held in. Almost immediately did the two separate fights begin. Allen lifted himself up to sitting, Kanda noticed the broken look in his Moyashi's eyes.

"Allen." Kanda choked out tears finally falling from his own, pulling his jacket off the samurai proceeded to clean his lover off then took his shirt off and put on the emotionally broken boy before wrapping his arms around him.

"Don't leave me Allen. Stay, please don't go away!" Kanda begged burying his face into Allens neck rocking them side to side. Kanda's guard was completely down he didn't see Sheril coming right for them.

"KANDA! ALLEN!" Nea shouted, Kanda was only able to cover Allen turning till his back faced the Noah.

"Innocence Invoke." Allen muttered his voice void of emotions an invisible wall appearing causing Sheril to be sent back crashing into Jasdevi.

"I'm not pathetic and I will prove it." Allen muttered slowly standing to his feet with shaky legs.

"Allen?" Kanda watching him, Allen was pretty much covered by the over sized shirt he walked off the tendril and landed in between Cross and Nea, Kanda following soon after landing behind him. No one said anything once Nea gave them all a look warning them not to.

"So can you finally invoke that dormant innocence of yours gatinho?" Sheril laughed, Allen felt his lips twitch into a smirk.

"No I do not full access to it, but it did show me how to get something back." Allen said holding his left hand out palm facing out, a green innocence fragment flew until it was barely touching his palm. It glowed brightly. His legs were shaking badly and it was taking eveything he could to stand. Kanda could tell and walked out wrapping his arm around the others waist holding him up.

"I love you Kanda." He said looking back to the samurai, a small smile on his face before looking back to Sheril and Jasdevi.

"Innocence Invoke!" Allen shouted the innocence bursting into a bright light blinding everyone, when it all cleared Allens arm was once again black. He still had the cat ears and tail, grabbing his left wrist with his right hand pulling and setting free the sword of exorcism.

"Looks like my Baka Minarai is back in action. Let's do this!" Cross laughed getting Judgment ready, Nea was the first to jump into action followed by Kanda then Cross and lastly Allen.

* * *

Allen opened his eyes, his arms were chained above his head in a stone cell. He could hear water dripping around him. The four of them fought but he was still taken away. His head hung low and he saw he had no clothes on once more. He could feel blood dried to the side of his face. He was vaguely aware when someone walked and knelt onto the ground in front of him.

"Look at what they have done to you menino." The smooth voice belonged to Tyki Mikk, Allen was barely able to lift his head up and look at him. He could see the sympathy in his eyes, the worry.

"Why?" Allen choked out.

"I don't know, but we need to get you from here and there is only one way to do that, you need to invoke that neko innocence of yours and turn into a gatinho." He said lifting his hands and phasing them through the metal cuffs transferring the ability into Allen freeing him from the cuffs.

"I can't I have no strength." He said slumping forward onto Tyki.

"Then I will for you, then we have to leave immediately." The Noah of pleasure said and as Allens world went back he felt himself becoming smaller.

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So, I started this fic at like 3pm and it is now 8pm. The joys of trying to get a chapter done while also babysitting. Pure joy! Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to drop a review!


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